Ferber. Dr. Ferber. We Ferberized. We are Ferberizing.

It wasn't exactly planned. We knew we wanted to try it, but it never seemed like the right time. But then, nothing else worked. All the tricks, pretty much overnight, became futile. The swaddle, the binky, the singing, The Cure lullaby CD, NOT EVEN NURSING was working. Hale's eyebrows were just permanently red tired. 

Scott and I passed him back and forth, walked him around the room in circles for hours, giving one another helpless, tired looks. No sleep. No sleep for any of us.

I didn't put him down in the crib thinking I was ready to Ferberize, but Ferberize we did. Dr. Ferber is this guy who invented sleeping for infants. Seriously. His philosophy, in a nutshell, is kids have to learn to sleep and the only way they learn... is the hard way.

It isn't like we just abandoned him in his crib. There is a whole 'checking in' system--first after 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc. Basically, you check and see if your child is still alive to look at you while he screams as if he is being exorcised right before your eyes (a tiny Linda Blair that resembles you)....

...Then, according to the book, you say to him, "Good job, honey, you are doing great. You are teaching yourself to go to sleep. I love you. Good night." And then you walk out the door till the next 'check-in interval'.

It was hell. I kept thinking about how my sister tried this with my nephew, Josh, and the neighbors called CPS. True Story.

I am really glad we know our neighbors so well. I spent the time, that first night of Hale wailing, reading Amazon reviews of the book we are using as our guide for this whole thing, "The Sleepeasy Solution." (Five stars all the way, except for the few who feel leaving your child to be exorcised in their crib alone in the name of sleep is the work of 'lazy parents' who know nothing about tribal cultures who never even set their children down let alone let them scream in a crib. This book is not by the actual Ferber, but presents a fairly accessible version of the whole Ferberizing, you know, thang.) 

I really thought about not setting my baby down. Quechua babies in Ecuador are so sweet and quiet, wrapped in blankets against their moms' backs, but I have no field to till nor corn to shuck. I need my hands for the gear shift as well as for my travel mug.

So, following the Ferber prescription, we let him shriek, wail, and flail about his crib for a whole hour--to the minute--and then... 

...quiet. 

Hale slept so sweetly, so sweetly till 2:30 in the morning, only barely waking to be nursed right back to sleep. Then, he didn't make a peep again until after 9 am. The next night, when he slept eleven straight hours after only minor cries, we were pretty much in awe of Dr. Ferber.

Tonight (night six) he went down after 20 minutes of fussing, but let me also say that his nap schedule seems to be becoming more predictable and easy as well. Instead of nursing, rocking and singing with fingers crossed, just in the past few days, we just kiss him, tell him we love him and set him down in that crib. He sleeps, sweetly. Then he wakes up and doesn't seem mad at us in the least. In fact, he spazzes with excitement to see us. It is pretty great.

Dr. Ferber, thank you, where ever you are.
Love,
One of those lazy modern-ferberizing parents